“You’d better watch out. You’d better not cry. You’d better not shout. [Why?] I’m Telling you why …” Krampus will take you away and do terrible things to you before … murdering you???? WTF?
I don’t know if I was the only one who felt like Hollywood had found a way to slap me across the face and rape my childhood when this movie was released – but it sure felt like it. Destined to be a horrible, B-movie (because Hollywood doesn’t know how to actually tell a story), the diabolically evil counterpart to St. Nicholas made his way from legend to the big screen recently, bringing with him every horrible nightmare that childhood could lend to it.
This isn’t the first scary movie about Christmas or the first tale told about a Christmas figure as being evil … but generally … those ‘evil’ Santa Claus characters were usually really demented humans in costume. Krampus is … well … messed up.
I suppose that there is always a balance in nature, so knowing that Krampus is the extreme opposite of Santa Claus is not so shocking. I suppose next will come the Easter Monster followed by the evil leprechaun … oh no, wait … too late, I mean, followed by the evil great pumpkin … shoot … already did that … maybe, Jack Frost? No. Crud.
Well … maybe Krampus is just way overdue. After all, teaching children to be good based on the pretense that some guy who actually loves the world will show up with absolute kindness and bring joy to their lives is just … overwhelmingly too good to be true! But, hasn’t Christmas already been destroyed enough? Hasn’t commercialism, spoiling of rotten kids, advertising, cultural degradation of a spiritual holiday, and other such factors ripped the holiday to shreds?
Sure – everybody stops shooting on that day. The world is silently still for a few moments of peace. And, some people find sickeningly huge amounts of cheer while others starve to death on the streets. But, setting aside all the good things about Christmas, clearly, the introduction of Krampus was delayed for a very, VERY good reason!
Because, let’s face it – Macy’s and Nordstrum’s would have had a TERRIBLE time keeping children in line during their Christmas Day parade and gearing them up for Shopping Mall Santa Clauses if the kiddies knew that sitting next to Santa was a demon waiting to devour their soul. Let’s face it, the Miracle on 34th Street would have had a lot fewer letters trying to save Santa if the drunk Santa was replaced by a demon stealing children and carrying them away. Imagine seeing Maureen O’Hara try kicking him off the float!!!
But – here’s the thing … Krampus represents more than some sort of balance to good and evil – because the real correlation between St. Nicholas, Christmas, and even Krampus, is that of Christ and Claw, the son of Satan/Hel. Santa has always represented the ultimate good in people without bias or hatred, with omnipotent knowledge, and super-human abilities. With his reindeer and elves as disciples and angels, Santa Claus truly is the closest “human-like” character to have that perfect, Christ-like love.
Krampus – eats children who just aren’t cheery enough. Sorta’ sounds like a few politicians in the news of late ….
Here’s the catch – Santa is supposed to inspire the good in people, encouraging children and adults alike to find that special meaning about giving and goodness in spirit. And, while the ‘reveal’ to children about Santa seems to be a crushing of childhood spirit – everyone knows that Santa isn’t really about one person – it’s about EVERYONE becoming Santa for Christmas and giving to others and the reality is that Santa is supposed to live inside each of us.
So, what does Krampus inspire? Fear? Not too different than the thought of a coal in the stocking … albeit the coal doesn’t eat you. Perhaps, keeping Krampus out of American culture was a HUGE mistake. Because – like Santa – each person also has the potential to be Krampus. Each person has the potential to be cruel, selfish, and destructive. Each person has the potential to steal away childhood and leave behind the wreckage that’s supposed to grow up into a successful adult.
And honestly – America has had more Krampus than Santa – especially of late. While a lot can be traced back to marketing, greed, and commercialism – people are responsible for their choices. People have the opportunity to keep the child inside strong and healthy their entire lives, or turn into a bitter, old adult. Maybe it’s appropriate that Krampus is just now being introduced into more mainstream media. Considering the amount of Krampus celebrations that go on, the way people treat one another, the fear mongering by politicians using tragedy, the disassociation between human beings and social media, the outright despicable nature of money, greed, and the separation of classes …
Maybe the Krampus movie is really a reflection of the world today … and maybe it’s just way overdue. I thought the advertisements for the movie were horrible and disgusting. I thought the idea of Krampus was abhorred and didn’t have a place in society. Then … 14 people in California are shot for no reason at all. Half of society wanted everyone to fear terrorists, pushing a conspiratorial agenda of malicious intent toward the masses, while the other half claimed their self-righteous liberties and girls wanting to be in boy scouts and transgender boys using girls bathrooms, laws being passed against the people, Black Friday slaves spending billions and ….
I think … I was wrong. I think, that while I felt dismayed by Hollywood even bringing in a Demon to destroy the last of Christmas Spirit, I was living an illusion. That bit of childhood that makes me who I am also kept me blind with ideas of hope and love. Maybe … the internet has already ruined childhood and swallowed kids whole (young and old, children and adults). Maybe, commercialism has gone so far that no one can think for themselves anymore. Maybe all the episodes of Futurama with an evil, future St. Nicholas, or The Family Guy with a hate-mongering Santa … maybe that’s all that’s left.
Maybe Christ … just isn’t a part of Christmas … anymore.
Or … maybe I understand why there are so few who stand here with me in the silver-lined sky, at the edge of the never-ending ocean of souls, upon the jagged precipice of nowhere, staring off into eternity. Maybe, there are so few people who can remember what it was like, when they were young, to hold on to that small bit of hope that there is a reward for being good. To that overwhelming, tingling joy that made you shake all over as you imagined the smells, the sounds, the sights, and the love of Christmas morning. No – it wasn’t always a happy place. Yes – bad things did happen. But – some of us … some of us could never let that go ….
Imagine what the end of life will be like – as you look back over the events of your existence. Were you always perfect? Nope. Did you do everything right? No way. Were you willing to try? Yes. And, did you succeed AND fail? Yes. Do you sometimes feel like you were shorted while other times feel like you deserved more? Yup.
But – when did Santa ever not come? I don’t mean gifts. I don’t mean a Christmas tree. I mean the season, the people, the lights, the sounds …
When did Church choirs ever stop singing the praises of Christ and their harmonious resonance not life you up?
Maybe you don’t remember. Maybe you can’t …. or maybe you won’t. I know some people had it really bad – and that is terrible. But – when the end of life comes … who do you want to see? Santa … Christ …
or that other guy?
The truth is – we never knew as children if Santa was real. There was always that question as to whether or not he’d ever show up. There was always some discontent that we had to voluntarily ignore … and when we sang Christmas music – we could. But, we had hope. Hope and Faith. Those two words hold a lot of value for human beings …
But … now … terrorists are knocking at your door. While Jewish traditions, Christian Traditions, and others existed side-by-side for a couple hundred years in America, somehow, the last 10 years has brought nothing but heartache and bitterness among different religions fighting over public displays of nativity scenes, hannukah decorations or crosses, and other contentious matters – and the law is supporting it??!? Of course – without the spirit of goodness or evil to keep people in control – people are trying to manage one another and impose their beliefs over one another – and frankly – people suck at it.
So maybe … just maybe, Krampus is making his recent appearance because it has been far too long that everyone has refused to abide by the guidance of the wonderful spirit of Christ. So – if people won’t let love guide them …
Maybe it’s high time they’re reminded that there are forces in this Universe far more powerful than them – and if they don’t straighten up … well …
You’d better watch out …
You’d better not cry …
You’d better not pout …
“Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!” … “Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…” … “The dead rising from the grave!” … “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”
“Because Santa Claus is coming … to Town!”