Well, the Daily Signal has done its job reporting news and events once again. And, while they’re off trying to tell you the important story, I’m back to poke fun at the political side of … politics!
A vote for gun control? Nope – The barbershop quartet! “LA, LA, LA, LAAAAA!”
President Obama trying to use his Emperor Palpatine Lightning Powers Again! Back Donald! Muwahahahahaha!
Endangered Species Act … to protect or not to protect. Here we go .. 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war. .. nhghghghgh!!! Ahhhrrrgghhh! (I’m rooting for Obama … hahahaha! for once!)
Run R2! Run! The feds are after you! (No, really!) Why isn’t this guy at the Rose City Comicon – that sucks! (hint, hint, wink, wink!)
Texas may have beaten the gender neutral bathrooms … but those sinks are as gender neutral as they get!
Did we really need to see this to know how to respond to an active shooter? Isn’t this just the ending of Reservoir Dogs? (And did ANYONE else notice it’s in a room full of kids … CREEPY!!!)
Elizabeth Warren trying to get the crowd’s hands’ up in the air … whoop whoop! Down with technology battles and Monopolies! More utility company monopoly and high pricing! … wait … WHAT?
Did anyone ever wonder why the Democratic National Convention had so much contention? Just look at the Bernie Sanders supporters … the hippi, the purple hair rebel girl, and the … what? young business man intern checking out her … hmmm? I suppose none of those are as creepy as the raised fists of power in good ‘ol hitler fashion!
You not bear? No? Good. If you bear, I wrestle you. No? Still not bear? Good. If you see bear, you tell me, da? Good! I am to be watching you! (Spoken in the Putin Russian accent)
You know, after this cyber attack convention, I’m gonna … you know … I gonna beat ya’ up. …. Oh yeah … just try it, dude.
The Obma-nacle Choir! “No more GUUUNNNSSS!!!!!”
“The four important LGBT goals, and … whoa … look at that guy, I wanna .stick that in my ..”
No … no … I’m just stopping right there …
“I think the best method of stopping zika is to first, cover your skin … all of it, even your bald head, and then, to um, use mosquito nets across the whole country, and then, um, use bug spray, all over yourself, lather in it, rub it in your chest … just rub and rub and …..” …. “Uh-uh, no you didn’t just go there, you best put that hand down RIGHT now!”
Look, I’m not blind .. but HOLY BANANA PIES … I hope no one mixes up this braille. Imagine the sounds you’d hear walking into THAT bathroom unprepared … YIKES!
Run away! Run for your lives! It’s Hillary-zilla and Mothra-Trump … they’ve entered the white house at the same time and the war is on! AAAHHHHHAAAAAHHH!!!!!
Now, see that last post above about Hillary and Trump fighting in the Whitehouse? That’s why you should NOT read blogs! You see it, right? See where I’m pointing – go ahead – look up! These people want you to believe that Washington D.C. is full of giant monsters out to get you. They are NOT! They’re full of giant monsters out to screw the Philippines! The internet is soooo misleading!
“Hey, now, that’s not fair Mr. Phillipines from the post above! We’re just trying to make the world a better place one dollar … er, um, taxpayer dollar at a time. What? You want to see our records? Embezzlement and stealing? You’re just crazy! Don’t worry – trust us! Would I lie?” …
And, the only thing I can say to that … is look at the guy on the right. Isn’t that the CREEPIEST look ever? I think there’s an award for that, isn’t there? If so – this guy should get it. Would you REALLY want him at your side when trying to defend that you’re not a crook but don’t want to give up any records? Of course … if you look at the guy in the back he’s staring at the creepy guy like he’s watching him slowly reach out to pinch her buttocks, thinking to himself … “man, if it were only me next to her ….”! THIS IS WASHINGTON D.C. at its BEST! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, that’s it for this installment of political funnies. Hope it helped put a smile on someone’s face out there. With all the dissension and heartache in the news, it’s nice to get a fresh and lighthearted perspective on events! Till next time boys and girls, EXCELSIOR!!
“I may not like humanity, but at least it’s good for one thing – there’s never a dull moment!” (Me).