Equality vs. Being Equal


Listening to the radio this morning, there is an ongoing debate about a rather obtuse comment made regarding whether or not a woman could be a coach for the NBA. While the news was working ever so hard to create drama and make the comment about sexism, the commentator, Mike Francesa, claimed that he was trying to make the point about skill. So – we have two sides to an argument. One side says that it is a matter of equality. The other says it’s about skill. Which side is right?

First … I make no statement in here that is an absolute and I have no skill set or insight that makes me an authoritative figure on the matter. This is opinion (and only that), and the only right answer is the one you draw from your heart, with a fully educated mind, free from thinking errors and ‘selfism’.

To me, the matter comes down to throwing out the cr@p that the Newsmedia keeps trying to use to upset everyone and boost their ratings. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the Newsmedia has become a bane on human existence and is one of humanity’s greatest enemies. Now … that aside …

Could a woman be a coach in the NBA?


Sure? Why not? A woman could be anything she wants to be … IF … and I repeat this for emphasis: IF she has the skill set.


Society at large (you know … the ENTIRE WORLD’S CULTURE), does not allow just anyone to fill a position. For example: A 20 year old high school drop out will never be permitted to be a certified / registered / licensed doctor without an education. While doctors are over-payed and over-rated, it seems that the entire world’s culture requires their doctors to also be EDUCATED. Does affirmative action or gender equality make you sleep better at night to know that the person who is about to replace your kidney (although barely through their first year of culinary college), was never a doctor and is only in that position because of some law about equality?

No, probably not. (Well … for those of you being honest … the rest … you gotta’ pull your head outta’ yer’ … well … you know … to get through the rest of this).

Does it make you rest better at night to think that the person defending you in court, where you risk a lifetime prison sentence with some very dangerous people, had never stepped foot inside a court room or read a legal journal in their life (regardless of whether or not they can even speak your language), but … they are now your $350 per hour attorney because of skin color or gender privilege?


Again … for the honest folks, no. (And I’ve already argued in past blogs against the price of specialized professions).

NONE of this implies that a person, regardless of ANY identifying characteristic, should not be given the chance to do anything. It’s when society abandons responsibility and accountability that things go wrong. There are Senators and Congressmen … who should NOT be in office regardless of gender, education, or experience. There are doctors and scientists who should not be given the privilege to practice regardless of any special privilege or effort. It is a matter of understanding that the right to be treated equal and the right to demonstrate equal ability are both EARNED!

Equality and being equal are TWO ENTIRELY SEPARATE CONCEPTS.

Equality is the right and privilege of being without regard to a bias, privilege, or prejudicial preference based on any factor. Equality should exist for everyone and should equally be earned by all.


Being Equal is having the skills, experience, knowledge, expertise, know-how, or other ability or factor that is comparable to another. Being equal should be an opportunity for everyone and HAS to be earned.

As I said before (and sorry to rehash this), but it is the Newsmedia that’s driving this argument in the wrong way – skewing terms and definitions. They are living off of the abuse of causing disparity and abusing your rights as a human being. You have the right not to be mislead, misdirected, lied to, and manipulated for the financial gain of some large corporate conglomerate that does not believe in equality. Well … unless you live in America as that is a Capitalist country and the people are doing nothing to free themselves from it.

Using Equality as the definition of being Equal is like arguing that an old school Volkswagon Bug should be permitted to race with Ferraris at the same level. Sure, the Volkswagon Bug has every right to race alongside any car it wants to … but the odds are that the Volkswagon Bug is going to lose. It’s not a slam against Volkswagon or a derogatory comment against the car manufacturer. One car was made for speed and the other for cost and reliability. THEY ARE DIFFERENT. And, that’s okay. Volkswagons can have their own race if they want, among themselves (and … they do!). And, in some cases, Volkswagon bugs that have been modified and built up to compete with other race cars, earning that privilege, get to compete and sometimes even win!


Thus, equality as a means to being equal (which is to say, claiming equality without the responsibility, effort, or work required to properly deserve that position), harms both the individual claiming that right and anyone they work with or for. It cheats the individual who wants to be treated with equal rights out of the benefits of earning that position. It may seem like a foreign concept in today’s culture that equality should be earned, but do NOT mistake equality with prejudice. People SHOULD NOT be prejudice (although we can’t force that and should be understanding and compassionate with folks who don’t know better, helping them to learn and not forcing them like slaves because clearly, they have not yet learned the skill sets to be treated with “equality”). In a world without prejudice, equality can be a right AND a privilege (where rights are given and privileges are earned). Yet, there is a fine line where being equal and equality cross over. Let’s look at a simpler example: eating in a restaurant.

Does eating require skills? Yes. There’s a way to eat (to a degree of socially acceptable standards), that must be learned (for adults, since babies and toddlers get freebies). There’s also an appropriate demeanor and cultural awareness that should come along with being around others that is not harmful, shameful, or generally selfish. So, for the most part, a large portion of the world’s adults should be able to eat together. Thus, the requirements for being equal are met (the skill set has been acquired). Now, any person with this skill set should be able to eat with any other person in a restaurant. As a right, equality suggests that those who have earned the skills be given that opportunity without prejudice. They know how to act socially, and have the skill set to eat properly and thus, have earned the privilege. Now, if a murderer who is actively murdering people comes into a restaurant to eat with others, regardless of skill sets, is most likely someone you would agree, does not deserve equality. They have not earned their place in the social status of humanity and are lacking in that skill set.

How about selective clubs? Some clubs, like men clubs, women clubs, sports clubs, and the like, are reserved for different groups of people under specific characteristically desired preferences. Are these wrong? Of course, not. The Volkswagon that wanted to race does not belong in the Ferrari club that was designed FOR Ferraris, it belongs in the Volkswagon club. The problem is not in the clubs themselves, but in the culture as a whole. It’s the misconception of a very prejudicial society (which is currently a problem of all races, genders, religions, etc.), that a Ferrari is somehow prestigious while a Volkswagon is not, thus ‘implying’ that the club’s selective status is prejudice – and nothing could be farther from the truth. Rather than focusing on special interest groups or invading the privilege of selective clubs (religions, etc. – especially where equality demands respect of all people’s preferences), the world should be focusing on correcting generalized attitudes, first. Race is a lie and ethnicity should NOT matter. Feminism vs. (masculinism?), has its place, but is being abused to mislead women and is not healthy. And so on, and so on …


So – let’s expand the definitions of equality and being equal:

Equality is a social skill set that allows for equal social interaction.

Being equal is a disciplined skill set that allows for equal performance.

Both – require learning and are skills earned through hard work.

Yet, a short stint through the internet and you’d see that gender “equality”, as a social issue, is way out of control in the world. The lines are being skewed, privilege vs. right is being mislabeled, and special interest privilege and right over equal acceptance is being trampled upon. If people were put on the Earth together to learn how to live well with one another … then wouldn’t gender be part of that lesson, too? That is, gender in regard to respect for all genders and appreciation for all skills? Again – these are all social elements. Physical and mental skills – are about being equal (and not matters of equality). Social equality – doesn’t exist in the modern culture. People have not learned to live together. No different than a 100,000 years of war and deprivation is the world divided today in emotional warfare, hatred, and anger. People fight, demand, quarrel, act selfish, and no one on any side (especially those who speak the loudest through the Newsmedia), is willing to give. No one wants to practice what they preach.

No one … wants to be accountable or demonstrate the earned social skills of equality and give a little respect to one another. At least … if you watch the news …

Anyway, there are a couple exceptions to the rule: 1. Being a child who is still learning. 2. Being mentally handicapped. Due to a medical issue outside of that person’s control, they may be unable to learn either skill set. Yet, part of the rest of humanity’s social skill set of equality should dictate a level of empathy, compassion, and understanding that gives that additional allowance and demonstrates true tolerance. An unruly, hell-child who is throwing food, screaming, and acting uncontrollably in a restaurant – is NOT an exception. And, although not the child’s fault, the parents clearly lack the social and performance skill sets to have earned the right to be in that restaurant with other people.


LGBTQ and bathroom issues whereby a person “feels” different on the inside (vs. a hermaphrodite who has a medical condition clearly outside of their control), is NOT an exception. (hold up … I know … you’re feelin’ froggy … but before you jump…): Social skill sets of equality require the same expectation of equality to be returned to the person from which it is sought. So, a boy may feel like a girl and not want to be shamed in a boy’s bathroom, but a girl who is a girl also does not want to be shamed and the boy should have, or be taught, the appropriate skills of equality that govern his judgements (ie using a gender-neutral bathroom or single-person bathroom, or other solution). It’s when society fails to exercise its skill sets, as a whole, that problems occur.


Being a different ethnicity is NOT an exception. Because you’re black does not mean you get to be more privileged than another. Because you’re white does not mean you get to be more privileged than another. Because you’re from a country that sucks does not mean you get to invade another country’s economy and benefit from the way of life that they died and shed blood for and fought to keep for over 200 years. Because you’re unwilling to control your country’s abusive economic tactics or fight against your own radicals who murder, rape, and kill, does not give you the privilege of not being held accountable. All of those ideals – are evidence of a lack of the social skill sets that demand equality. They are also evidence of a lack of physical and mental skill sets that demand equal participation.

The ultimate answer to all of this: accountability. It’s terrifying to be accountable. And … if you think otherwise – you’re lying to yourself (and, that’s not an opinion, I would argue that as a fact). For instance, at some level, everyone wants acceptance and so, people hide thoughts, bury feelings, and withdraw on certain issue simply to maintain that acceptance. Of course, that’s a high-level example. There is much more to it. But, accountability is a vital component of being an evolved species. Never underestimate the power of accountability. Not shaming … not guilt … but accountability for one’s own actions! When you are accountable, you treat others in the same manner in which you, yourself, would wish to be treated – and maybe even better. Then, the world is awesome. But, that’s another topic entirely.


So, the question answered: Can a woman be the coach of an NBA basketball team? Yes. Sadly, the current mindset is that it will be forced. This is where the thinking errors start. If the team fails, feminism will be blamed and segregation and prejudice will take hold, and regardless of who is at fault, no one will be held accountable and everyone will be angry. If the team wins and there were no skill sets, accountability will be swept under the rug and another feather in the cap of unjust treatment of genders (by not pushing for skill sets in equality and being equal), will continue. If the team wins and there were skill sets, the female coach will be heralded as some hero regardless of whether or not she deserves it, yet, sadly, feminism will be heralded as the reason – not the fact the coach had the skills to do the work.

Just remember that “Equality” and “Being Equal” – are not the same thing. Velociraptors and iguanas are both members of the reptilian family … but one of them would make an incredibly bad choice as a pet (they’re equal in species … but not representative of equality in skill sets / behaviors … think about it … you know … after you let the velociraptor hang out for dinner …).

But, you can make a difference. You can speak up and tell the world to stop confusing equality and being equal. You can tell “them” to stop cheating people out of their responsibility to earn their equality and equal status so they can be proud of themselves. You can tell the prejudice people to stop being annoying and keep it to themselves / learn tolerance / learn the social skills so they too, can earn equality Otherwise … C’est la vie! Good luck.


Thanks for reading. Hope it wasn’t too confusing / upsetting / made some sense. A lot of information to keep organized and cram into a little space!

True equality means holding everyone accountable in the same way, regardless of race, gender, faith, ethnicity – or political ideology.” – Monica Crowley

In a fascist system, it’s not the lies that count but the muddying. When citizens can’t tell real news from fake, they give up their demands for accountability bit by bit.” – Naomi Wolf


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